It's Just a Phase

I think one of the most important things for new moms to hear and know is that babies go through phases.  Sometimes the phase might last for three days, other times three months.  Just know that there is an end in sight! Sometimes that end might be welcomed and other times you might be sad to see it pass.  Let me explain some of the “phases” we have personally experienced. 

Breastfeeding:  I promised myself that I would breastfeed for AT LEAST 4 weeks.  It was not extremely difficult, but it was painful and it seemed my world revolved around it.  I had to change the way I dressed, the way I ate; I didn’t feel comfortable working out, it was messy, and I didn’t feel like she was ever getting enough to eat.  She was eating almost every hour!  I envy the mothers who do it so easily and almost make it look glamorous.  I do feel selfish complaining about something so natural that is good for baby, but at the same time, ending this phase made the whole family more relaxed and happy.  I got through those 4+ weeks knowing that there was an end in sight!  The switch to bottle went smoothly and after testing a few formulas, she was eating without spitting everything up.  Thus, feeding became more enjoyable for both of us.  Adios breast pump, nursing bras, and…  never mind, that’s not blog appropriate.      

Sleeping:  For the first couple of months, she was a typical newborn.  She woke every couple of hours to eat and would quickly go back to sleep.  No big deal.  However, she also went through short phases of waking up at 2 a.m. and NOT going back to sleep at all! I think the longest that ever went on was about four days.  I remember trying everything – music, bouncing on the exercise ball, stepping outside, trying to get her to fall asleep on my chest, etc.  All of these things had worked like a charm before, why weren’t they working now?  Thank goodness it was JUST A PHASE.  Sometimes, though, you do have to change things up and find out what works best.  Our lifesaver for getting sleep was the Rock ‘n Play that I blogged about here.  See also: swaddling.  At about five months, she wasn’t sleeping as well through the night because she kept trying to get out of the swaddle.  We gave it up and I wish we could say we haven’t looked back, but the transition wasn’t easy.  Maybe I’ll touch more on that in another post solely about sleeping and “cry-it-out” methods.  Her latest sleep phase: waking up at midnight, then at 3 a.m., then at 5 a.m.  About two weeks ago, she did that almost every night.  She would wake up and either talk to herself for about an hour before she fell back to sleep, or cry until I rocked her back to sleep.  Although the talking was cute, it still kept me up and prevented both of us from getting a full night’s rest. She still wakes up in the morning talking, but that gives me time to get ready before I have to get her up.  Also, when she would wake up talking or crying at 5 a.m. I would go get her and bring her down to our bed. I’d let her sleep on me for the rest of the morning.  We would usually stay in bed until 8 or 8:30!  As much as Ray and I both enjoy having her in bed with us (seriously!), he told me I shouldn’t keep it up or she will make a habit out of it.  Point taken.  She is back to sleeping almost 12 hours and I don’t want this phase to end!

Eating:  The phases are pretty obvious here.  As babies grow, they are going to eat more.  You just have to figure out what your baby is wanting.  If he/she cries after a bottle, it probably means you need to add an ounce or two to each bottle from then on. Our baby girl has NEVER stopped eating in the middle of the bottle.  I mean, if there’s a drop left, she knows it and she wants it.  If we take the bottle away before it’s gone, she starts huffing and puffing.  Sometimes we do it on purpose because it’s just so darn cute. 

Those are the biggest issues that come and go in phases.  But, for each baby there may be more.  One more personal example:  RK hated the car, so we bought a DVD player hoping it would give her something to take her mind off the fact that she was in the car.  It satisfied her for about two days.  We returned the DVD player because there was no benefit – and when you’re not satisfied, you want your money back!  As she developed a little more, yet still hating the car, we decided to try again.  We bought another (cheaper) DVD player and it has worked wonders.  No more tears in the car!  And sometimes, I’ll just pause the DVD and she will eventually fall asleep.  Hooray! 

The way I look at it, having a baby is like being a teacher in at least this way:  sometimes you get through the days by keeping your eye on the prize that is a weekend, a break.  It might be frustrating when you’re not getting any sleep or you don’t know what to do to make your baby happy, but know IT’S JUST A PHASE!